S is for Sweden, C is for Copenhagen..

A is for awesome trip. I could go on to spell Scandanavia but considering the week before I didn't know Sweden and Denmark were even in Scandanavia and that Scandanavia wasn't a country I won't bother.

November 2011. Early-ish Sunday morning flight to Copenhagen, started by Starbucks in Manchester airport; skinny latte with sugar free hazlenut extra hot pllllease.

Stumbling block one: the train from Copenhagen to Halmstad. Just because a seat is empty doesn't mean its not booked. There is no way of telling it's booked, you just sit in it and hope that somebody doesn't come to tell you you have to move as in fact they have booked that seat. They could learn a lot from the Virgin Pendolino system: Reserved/Vacant. Just put a note on it or something. The second thing about this train: Keep your eyes open on the train and pay attention as everyone will ask about the bloody bridge; when replying what bridge you on about people think your mental. That bridge is massive. It goes across the sea and connects two countries, yet I managed to miss it (3 times I might add before seeing it on the fourth go!!). They're pretty proud of that bridge....

So Halmstad is pretty. It's cool. Nice eating and drinking establishments; typically scandinavian. it's near Christmas, all the lights are up but no trashy different coloured lights. Everyone has a white star in the window of their homes and white lights only. Very elegant and cool.

Ooh, we get a pool car in Halmstad. Each team member has a turn at driving. Funny points to note: Susan broke the handle of the seat, then couldn't park it, then stalled and started in gear. Rob nearly had a coronary whilst Paul was driving, I won best driver award.

The weekend - trip to Copenhagen. Arrived pretty late after another debacle with the trains, so it's hard rock cafe for food and Christmas Tuborg drinks. Saturday morning, a walk into town; it's freezing. A canal boat trip to see the Mermaid; not sure what the fuss is about there! Oh and then a climb up the tallest tower EVER. Well in Copenhagen. However, I forgot I am petrified of heights. I spent the majority of the climb clinging to the side of the tower whilst everyone laughed. Every step was a battle of wills as to whom in the oncoming direction was gonna leave the rail as I clinged to it. Not a chance I was letting go. PETRIFIED.

Onto the Tuborg factory. As an Everton supporter I resent handing over cash to the Carlsberg establishment, however the promise of warmth and two beers and not separating from the team has me sold.

This picture is the team minus Susan with the 'famous' Carlsberg Elephant. I've never seen them before but apparently they're famous.

Following this we met back up with Susan at magical Tivoli. AMAZING is the only way to describe this place. http://www.tivoli.dk/composite-3351.htm

The website really doesn't do it justice, but google image it. It had a mini Taj Mahal, a mini Kremlin, real reindeers, a Father Christmas ( I was convinced he was the real deal!). Everything had lights on; we drank Glug to our hearts content and felt like we had been transported to a cross between Never Never Land, Lapland and the Coca Cola Christmas advert. I think at one point I thought I was Tinkerbell.

The next highlight had to be watching Rob and Susan sh*t themselves on a death defying ride involving rotating planes on mechanical arms swing round and great heights. Had to be there to witness the pure horror on Robs face!

Onwards and upwards to the Absolute Vodka Ice Bar. Whats cooler than being cool? ICE COLD! And f*ck me sideways was it cold. Drinks were good though.

Next up night out - YIIIIIIEEESSSSS!!!!

Meatpacking district; cool. Free cocktails as it was it's birthday or something. We learnt the Danes are very friendly towards English and got talking to a few who lived in Sweden and offered us places to stay if we should ever want to visit them?! Then onto another bar - this one not a cocktail bar - see picture. Thankfully I noticed that before I order my mojito. After a mammoth trek we found a bar recommended but it turned out it was Rn'b; not one for throwing out our best shapes to so headed back into town to Rose McGees for some serious cheese, Q dancing on stages, pulling each other across the dance floor with imaginary ropes, the whole lot. We are too cool. I know.

McDonalds. Bed. However, hotel is in the red light district, count the 'ladies of the night' game. No fewer than 16. Very wrapped up ladies though, they are familiar to the temperatures around these parts!!

Sunday; Palace. Long story short, I got bored, I got shouted at by the lady - I was just looking in the drawer of the box incase they had missed something, free labour - whats the problem?? The jewels were cool but if I can't try them on then whats the point. Mahoosive storm, nightmare on the train (again) but back in Halmstad.

So audit, done. Thursday night, drinks. What a night: karaoke- none of us sang thank goodness, but a lady said I had a good voice and I should get up as I know the words; it ain't hard love, it's karaoke, the words are on the screen!! The same lady burnt her hair on the candle whilst telling me this. I think she may have been a tad tipsy. Not to be deterred by the shutting of the pub, we headed to the local bowling alley. Not cool? Oh how wrong. It's a nightclub with a bowling alley inside it. Awesome. Dancing whilst going to throw the bowling ball, this was fun. As the only three on the dancefloor, we had rule of the Dj. Turns out they like Swedish House Mafia in Sweden too. This is good news.

Friday: Hometime. Train back to Copenhagen. Rob got uber stressed over the SAS checking in system to the point he had a tantrum. This boiled down to the fact he couldn't use the luggage tag, idiot. After his little outburst, the remainder of the journey was ok.

Good trip all round.

Lessons learnt:
1. Pay attention on train journeys to significant monuments such as bridges
2. Remember you are scared of heights prior to agreeing to climb tall buildings
3. You are not Tinkerbell
4. Don't touch things in museums, they don't like it
5. Rob can't use sticky labels

Trip Theme Tune: Rihanna & Calvin Harris - We Found Love