Italy Retesting. Biggest Disaster of a trip EVER. Trip is arranged to be a smash and grab one week. We should be so lucky.
As the trip was one week and we weren't getting the weekend and as last time we didn't get to see Rome, Rob took pity on me and we decided to go a day early and pay for a day/night out of our own pockets.
After the most detailed Itinerary you can ever imagine; it started to go wrong the minute we got on the plane...
Flight delayed by an hour. Not really an issue, except Jet2 have one CD with 6 songs on a loop. Pixie Lot, Ed Sheeran, Abba, Adele, Bruno Mars and my; the 6th one has escaped me; might have been Jessie J.
Land in Rome; leg it through security to get our bags; our pre booked bus is at half 1; its 12:45, our prepaid Vatican tickets are for 3pm entry. The bags take over an hour to appear. People cheered when the bags eventually made it onto the carousel. It's 1:30. Fuck it. If we get a taxi we'll still make the Vatican. So off we go to find a taxi when Mario & Luigi (Not factually correct) approach us and we get into their 'official' (or so they keep telling us) taxi. Wheres the meter?? It's €2-3 euros per kilometre depending on traffic; so after a little arguing with the man in the passenger seat, we know his new fixed price of €70 and tell him this is too much; he takes us back to the airport.
It's now 2pm. Not a chance we're making the Vatican. We go to find the bus which we prepaid for and find an ok queue. It's freezing btw, there is snow on the ground. An hour and a half later a bus arrives, which proceeds to get stormed by the massive queue. (The buses are supposed to be every half hour). I get into an argument with a lady in the queue whom backs down pretty sharpish. That'll teach her to try and push in front of me. NOT COOL LADY.
At approximately 4:30 we arrive at Station Termini where we then proceed to get the underground to the hotel, near station Barberini. From landing in Rome at approximately 12:30 it has taken us 4 hours to get from the airport to the city centre. 4 hours. Vatican missed. Oh well. Hotels nice, Robs room is better. The hotel is near the Spanish Steps so we head there for a little stroll and to see the Trevi Fountain. Spanish steps were frozen over and consequently a death trap. Trevi Fountain however was cool.
Saturday Night. Pizza for tea why not. It was ok; nothing special. No Pizza Express thats for sure. Not to waste the meticulously planned itinerary, we decide to hunt out some of the bars included on said itinerary. One way out, i slipped on some ice. I random man went to catch me and slipped to resulting in me in a heap on the floor, him clinging onto a nearby pillar for dear life and Rob pissing himself laughing.
Not gonna lie; the bars were nice, but they were expensive. We got free crisps and nuts but personally i'd do without the crisps and nuts for a few euros of the drinks price. Bored of being ripped of, we found a cheaper place. And Oh my god the wine was cheap wine as i proceeded to find out. After several glasses, and on discovering Rob is not my boyfriend, the bar owner bought us a round of dinks and let us play Dj. I vaguely remember this bit. The walk home consisted of Rob propping me up and wandering until a couple in a car offered to take us back to the hotel for €20. At this point I had my head over a bin, when Rob said don't worry she's not been sick yet... Bluergh. I vommed. Yet they still took us home. There was more sickness which followed, but hey ho I was home...
Hangover from hell. The last thing I wanted to do was sight see, but, that fucking itinerary took me half a day to create; Sundays schedule was being stuck too. First up! Collosseum.
On the way to the Collosseum I was sick (again), in the middle of the street. It would be fair to say this was a low point of my life. Better out than in anyway. Onwards and upwards, just after Rob has answered this call from the plant. There is soo much snow in the middle of Italy that the highway is shut and the car cannot come get us. Brilliant. We now have to arrange the flight home, lets go to the Collosseum and we'll book the flights when we get back. Collosseum was shut. Apparently, -7 temperatures and an inch of snow means Rome has shut down completely.
Back at the hotel changing the flights, when Chadders remembers Roma are playing today, lets go the game, this could actually save the day. No tickets but apparently you can buy them from the box office. The guy on reception says we can get the train, then either the tram or walk. Given our recent experiences with public transport we nominate to walk. 1.5 hours later, we are still walking!!!!!
WE can see the stadium; not far now. Oh yes you are. Good luck finding the ticket office kids! Because it's miles away from the stadium in a little hut. Anyway, quit the whining, we've found it, its 2-30, we're in the queue and we'll make the second half so at least thats something. I go get myself a diet coke, life is good. I'm in the queue, I have a diet coke and the weekend is saved thanks to Cath. Sod it, I'll go get another drink. Fanta. Get back to the queue/Rob and wowza, 215 calories in that little can. Well as I tell Rob the queue has moved on and I'm quoting the calorie content of fanta to a random (rather fit) Italian guy. Its all very funny as the guy speaks English but just ends in me looking like a tit yet again. So I have now finished speaking to random men about the calorie content of fanta and we are in the door purchasing tickets OH YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHH. Do you have your ID?? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO. I didn't. Rob did. No tickets allowed. WHAT? No tickets. I begged, I pleaded. No ticket without ID. I reached a new low. It took all I had not to cry. Could anything more go wrong??
On the walk back to the tram station (we'd learnt a lesson here) we conceeded to visit the only open attraction on a Sunday. St Peters. Trams here, get on the tram. Robs having a hissy fit because he hasn't got a ticket. Get on the fucking tram Rob. I am seriously not in the mood for this and if a ticket inspector comes I challenge him to fine me because I am ready for action. Anyway, after his persistent moaning we get off the tram at the next stop so Rob can buy said ticket. These rule abiders really get on my wick. He loses a glove. Karma.
Arrival at St Peters. And on the walk we pass a cute little cafe. Suppose, just suppose St Peters is shut, can we go there for a coffee?? Yes Catherine. Oh guess what, St Peters was shut. The only 'open on a Sunday' attraction was shut. I'm going for that coffee.
What would you like, hot chocolate and chocolate cake for moi, coffee and apple pie for Rob. The hot chocolate was amazing, like liquified chocolate, really thick and creamy. It should be for €8. Yes, €8 and €9 for the cake. Same for the coffee and apple pie. They saw us coming, no menu with prices before we ordered, man that waitress was clever.
So, shit day and we're best part of €20 down each for a flipping cuppa and a cake. Theres only one way to fix the way I feel right now. A nap.
After the nap, we conclude pizza and the jazz bar nearby. Not a fan of jazz but we're not venturing into town after lastnights mishaps. Prosecco €18. Yes. Lets have a bottle of that. Why not. Everything has been shit. Lets have another bottle. This continues until we're actually onto a fifth. Christ.
Needless to say, I was sick. AGAIN. Yet another hangover and a flight home. Grrrrrrreat. Good night though. Fun fun fun. We got the bar to play Courteeners and there were free snacks a plenty.
Conclusion: Me and Rob went to Rome to get drunk. This could have been done at home.
Lessons learnt:
1. Never try and get a taxi from Rome Airport
2. If it's snowing in Rome; don't go
3. Never expect good service/anything to be on time
3. When you have the option of tram or walk pick tram.
4. Don't announce outloud the calorie content of fanta
5. Always carry ID
6. Dont get off trams to buy tickets
7. Always view the prices before ordering food
8. When the waitress says, 'One more bottle?!' Say no...
Song of the audit: DMX vs The XX - Gon' Give it to ya.
As the trip was one week and we weren't getting the weekend and as last time we didn't get to see Rome, Rob took pity on me and we decided to go a day early and pay for a day/night out of our own pockets.
After the most detailed Itinerary you can ever imagine; it started to go wrong the minute we got on the plane...
Flight delayed by an hour. Not really an issue, except Jet2 have one CD with 6 songs on a loop. Pixie Lot, Ed Sheeran, Abba, Adele, Bruno Mars and my; the 6th one has escaped me; might have been Jessie J.
Land in Rome; leg it through security to get our bags; our pre booked bus is at half 1; its 12:45, our prepaid Vatican tickets are for 3pm entry. The bags take over an hour to appear. People cheered when the bags eventually made it onto the carousel. It's 1:30. Fuck it. If we get a taxi we'll still make the Vatican. So off we go to find a taxi when Mario & Luigi (Not factually correct) approach us and we get into their 'official' (or so they keep telling us) taxi. Wheres the meter?? It's €2-3 euros per kilometre depending on traffic; so after a little arguing with the man in the passenger seat, we know his new fixed price of €70 and tell him this is too much; he takes us back to the airport.
It's now 2pm. Not a chance we're making the Vatican. We go to find the bus which we prepaid for and find an ok queue. It's freezing btw, there is snow on the ground. An hour and a half later a bus arrives, which proceeds to get stormed by the massive queue. (The buses are supposed to be every half hour). I get into an argument with a lady in the queue whom backs down pretty sharpish. That'll teach her to try and push in front of me. NOT COOL LADY.
At approximately 4:30 we arrive at Station Termini where we then proceed to get the underground to the hotel, near station Barberini. From landing in Rome at approximately 12:30 it has taken us 4 hours to get from the airport to the city centre. 4 hours. Vatican missed. Oh well. Hotels nice, Robs room is better. The hotel is near the Spanish Steps so we head there for a little stroll and to see the Trevi Fountain. Spanish steps were frozen over and consequently a death trap. Trevi Fountain however was cool.
Saturday Night. Pizza for tea why not. It was ok; nothing special. No Pizza Express thats for sure. Not to waste the meticulously planned itinerary, we decide to hunt out some of the bars included on said itinerary. One way out, i slipped on some ice. I random man went to catch me and slipped to resulting in me in a heap on the floor, him clinging onto a nearby pillar for dear life and Rob pissing himself laughing.
Not gonna lie; the bars were nice, but they were expensive. We got free crisps and nuts but personally i'd do without the crisps and nuts for a few euros of the drinks price. Bored of being ripped of, we found a cheaper place. And Oh my god the wine was cheap wine as i proceeded to find out. After several glasses, and on discovering Rob is not my boyfriend, the bar owner bought us a round of dinks and let us play Dj. I vaguely remember this bit. The walk home consisted of Rob propping me up and wandering until a couple in a car offered to take us back to the hotel for €20. At this point I had my head over a bin, when Rob said don't worry she's not been sick yet... Bluergh. I vommed. Yet they still took us home. There was more sickness which followed, but hey ho I was home...
Hangover from hell. The last thing I wanted to do was sight see, but, that fucking itinerary took me half a day to create; Sundays schedule was being stuck too. First up! Collosseum.
On the way to the Collosseum I was sick (again), in the middle of the street. It would be fair to say this was a low point of my life. Better out than in anyway. Onwards and upwards, just after Rob has answered this call from the plant. There is soo much snow in the middle of Italy that the highway is shut and the car cannot come get us. Brilliant. We now have to arrange the flight home, lets go to the Collosseum and we'll book the flights when we get back. Collosseum was shut. Apparently, -7 temperatures and an inch of snow means Rome has shut down completely.
Back at the hotel changing the flights, when Chadders remembers Roma are playing today, lets go the game, this could actually save the day. No tickets but apparently you can buy them from the box office. The guy on reception says we can get the train, then either the tram or walk. Given our recent experiences with public transport we nominate to walk. 1.5 hours later, we are still walking!!!!!
WE can see the stadium; not far now. Oh yes you are. Good luck finding the ticket office kids! Because it's miles away from the stadium in a little hut. Anyway, quit the whining, we've found it, its 2-30, we're in the queue and we'll make the second half so at least thats something. I go get myself a diet coke, life is good. I'm in the queue, I have a diet coke and the weekend is saved thanks to Cath. Sod it, I'll go get another drink. Fanta. Get back to the queue/Rob and wowza, 215 calories in that little can. Well as I tell Rob the queue has moved on and I'm quoting the calorie content of fanta to a random (rather fit) Italian guy. Its all very funny as the guy speaks English but just ends in me looking like a tit yet again. So I have now finished speaking to random men about the calorie content of fanta and we are in the door purchasing tickets OH YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHH. Do you have your ID?? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO. I didn't. Rob did. No tickets allowed. WHAT? No tickets. I begged, I pleaded. No ticket without ID. I reached a new low. It took all I had not to cry. Could anything more go wrong??
On the walk back to the tram station (we'd learnt a lesson here) we conceeded to visit the only open attraction on a Sunday. St Peters. Trams here, get on the tram. Robs having a hissy fit because he hasn't got a ticket. Get on the fucking tram Rob. I am seriously not in the mood for this and if a ticket inspector comes I challenge him to fine me because I am ready for action. Anyway, after his persistent moaning we get off the tram at the next stop so Rob can buy said ticket. These rule abiders really get on my wick. He loses a glove. Karma.
Arrival at St Peters. And on the walk we pass a cute little cafe. Suppose, just suppose St Peters is shut, can we go there for a coffee?? Yes Catherine. Oh guess what, St Peters was shut. The only 'open on a Sunday' attraction was shut. I'm going for that coffee.
What would you like, hot chocolate and chocolate cake for moi, coffee and apple pie for Rob. The hot chocolate was amazing, like liquified chocolate, really thick and creamy. It should be for €8. Yes, €8 and €9 for the cake. Same for the coffee and apple pie. They saw us coming, no menu with prices before we ordered, man that waitress was clever.
So, shit day and we're best part of €20 down each for a flipping cuppa and a cake. Theres only one way to fix the way I feel right now. A nap.
After the nap, we conclude pizza and the jazz bar nearby. Not a fan of jazz but we're not venturing into town after lastnights mishaps. Prosecco €18. Yes. Lets have a bottle of that. Why not. Everything has been shit. Lets have another bottle. This continues until we're actually onto a fifth. Christ.
Needless to say, I was sick. AGAIN. Yet another hangover and a flight home. Grrrrrrreat. Good night though. Fun fun fun. We got the bar to play Courteeners and there were free snacks a plenty.
Conclusion: Me and Rob went to Rome to get drunk. This could have been done at home.
Lessons learnt:
1. Never try and get a taxi from Rome Airport
2. If it's snowing in Rome; don't go
3. Never expect good service/anything to be on time
3. When you have the option of tram or walk pick tram.
4. Don't announce outloud the calorie content of fanta
5. Always carry ID
6. Dont get off trams to buy tickets
7. Always view the prices before ordering food
8. When the waitress says, 'One more bottle?!' Say no...
Song of the audit: DMX vs The XX - Gon' Give it to ya.
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